Alright I know I said I was going to go to bed, but I have one last thing to say before I do.
I was reading my comments, and one was left by my dad, and reading it made me cry, not hysterically, but just a couple of tears because I know he's proud of me and that makes me feel good.
I guess you would understand why if you new the relationship my dad and I have. We've had a couple of bumps in the road if you know what I mean.
My dad has always been there for me know matter what happened in my life, but a couple of years ago that changed, I don't really know why that was, but I guess it was just because we stopped talking, it was about a year that we didn't talk, and I have to admit their were times when I didn't care, and their were times when I would think about it and wonder what the hell I did wrong, or why does he hate me? I know he didn't hate me, but sometimes your brain makes you believe something that's not true. That year I was going through alot of changes, I had gotten into some bad things and had gotten a really awful boyfriend that I was living with, looking back on it now kind of makes me see why he didn't talk to me.
Well last year he called me on my 20th birthday, I was shocked, happy, sad, and just plain emotional, not only because he called me, but at the time I was preggers! We've been talking since. I love my dad, and hopefully he knows that, that year was lost and could never been brought back, but I wonder sometimes what it would be like if I had that year to re-do again, would I get to see my dad doing all the funny little things he does, would I have gotten to sit down and talk to him about things that were going on in my life that I needed advice on? I don't know maybe, but we can't do that, so this is the time that I need to focus on because I want to. I want to be able to see the funny shit that he does, and be able to call him up and say hey you want to go out and have lunch or dinner because I really need your advice on somethings?
I also want him to know how proud I am of him, he has taken a big step by retiring from the Azle Police Department, and getting a new job at Highland Villiage Police Department, which I know that he is totally excited about, I also want him to know how much I truly missed him when we didn't talk, it SUCKED! I also want him to know that I am sorry that I was stubborn and stupid and that I didn't make the attempt to call him up and talk to him. I also want him to know that I look up to him, and I always have, he will always be my dad know matter what, and I look forward to our daughter-father relationship getting stronger!
I love you daddo!!!!
"c"
1 comment:
Aww...you know, when my dad and Christine's mom divorced, my dad left and didn't talk to Christine or my brothers for years. Christine would write letters but never get a response until one day she finally found out my dad's phone number, called, and talked to my mom (who OF COURSE) made my dad call Christine back. Anyway- I'm telling you all this because I'm like...a whole two years older than you (LOL) and wanted to share my wisdom...Dad's make mistakes too. Even if they think their right at the time...or even if they're standing up for something that's important to them- they don't always carry it out properly. Anyway, I'm glad you talk to Greg again...he's one of my very favorite people too!:-)
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