Jayden (12 weeks) 5-20-08

Wow .... it's amazing how fast time goes by and how fast little ones grow up. I can't believe that Jayden will be 3 months old next Tuesday! It's CRAZY! He has changed so much these last couple of months from being a tiny little baby to a chubby little man. I can't believe that he is in my life, and I still haven't gotten over the fact that I'm a mommy now. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so scared because I was 19, and hadn't really talked to my mom in a long time, so when I found out I cried, and told myself that I couldn't go through with this, but Abraham (Jayden's father) told me that he would help me out, and that he would be there for me. How stupid of me to believe him, he hasn't been there since I was at least 3 months pregnant. I would talk to him every once in a while, but lately I haven't talked to him at all. So I have decided to give up and let him do what he wants to do. I have come to realize that Jayden only needs me, and doesn't need some druggie father in his life. Not only was this pregnancy something I didn't want to do at first, but it was kinda a mircle because the doctors have always told me that I couldn't get pregnant .. so it was a total shock when I did find out.
I thank god every day for that, not only for letting me get pregnant, but for giving me Jayden at that time in my life because I was using drugs and drinking alot, and that all stopped when I found out I was pregnant and I have been clean for almost a year now. So Jayden has been a total blessing to me and I am so happy to have him in my life. I don't know where I would be if I didn't have him. He is my everything! I love him with all my heart. I didn't know that I could love someone this much, it's amazing.
Anyways Jayden is doing so good, he has def. got his own personality!!!! He's so silly sometimes. He is such a good baby too ... he is 2.5 months old and sleeps at least 5-6 hours a night!!! :) I know how truly blessed I am .. I hear it from all the other parents out there that I am friends with!
Well I think that I am done for now with my blogging I am sure that I will write more tommorrow!
Cerissa